Day I don't know what. How about this is the title?

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten: Didn't track today.  :/
Cups of water: 11
Cigarettes smoked:  3 1/2
Exercise: Walking around alot!
Points remaining: 0

Thoughts for today:
I've been a slacker.  Ugh, this is a pain in the butt!  Today, I dressed up in pajamas, slippers and a robe, and carried around a newspaper and coffee mug. Only one of my co-workers dressed up like we discussed yesterday!  The rest of of them wore their normal clothes.  Oh well.

Anyways, still working on getting in control.  I CAN do this!

Day 46

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten: 51
Cups of water: 11
Cigarettes smoked:  4
Exercise: Only walking around
Points remaining: 0

Thoughts for today:
Still not 100% on track, but I am still tracking everything, and I know that just doing the tracking shows me that I'm making some kind of effort.  J and I went shopping today for fruits and veggies and other stuff to have in our house to eat instead of the garbage.  Hopefully, we'll make progress together!

Day 45

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten: 57
Cups of water: 8
Cigarettes smoked:  3
Exercise: Walked around alot today
Points remaining: 0

Thoughts for today:
I can't remember if I wrote about this the other day, so here it might be again... J finally joined weight watchers which is really great!  Although we've had a couple of crappy days, which of course, makes us want to eat. :/  I think we might both do better supporting each other though, so that'll be great.

I read a blog a couple of days ago that was soo interesting.  It basically said that when you eat something you enjoy, you just need to remember that this is not the last time you can eat that food.  You can have pizza every single night if you wanted to, just do it in portions.  And I realized that I do eat like I'll never have it again.  When I eat chinese food, I eat so much!  How have I never realized that I can have it again tomorrow if I want to!  I think this came about because we never really got fast food growing up, so after I moved out and until now, I eat as if I'll never have it again.  Sad.

Day 42

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten: 66 unfortunate points.
Cups of water: 10
Cigarettes smoked: 4
Exercise: Walked around alot today
Points remaining: 0

Thoughts for today:
Better today. I think I was just worn out from the workweek.  Crap happens!

I cooked brown rice, chicken and vegetables today and added teriyaki sauce, which turned out quite delicious and healthy.  What messed today up was the chips and cheese I had for my morning/lunch meal.  Crappy!  The exciting part is that J started Weight Watchers today, which I think will be really helpful.  We set our first goal at 10 pounds.  Whoever reaches that first gets $100.  And then we'll restart to the next 10 pound goal and another $100.  We seem to work out pretty well when we have our goals and rewards in place, so I'm really hoping that this helps us change our eating habits for the better. YAY!

This is my motto for today.

Day 40

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten:58
Cups of water: 10
Cigarettes smoked: 2 1/2
Exercise: Walked around alot today
Points remaining: 0

Thoughts for today:
 I'm tired today.  I feel like the week just wore me down, and I'm just so tired. 

Day 38

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten: 57
Cups of water:8
Cigarettes smoked: 4
Exercise: 1 hour on the elliptical
Points remaining: 0

Thoughts for today:
Wow, it sure is easy to get out of the habit of writing daily.   I'm trying to think of blogging as a daily regimen; something to do each and every day.

I'm still not doing well eating-wise.  I don't understand why I'm having such a hard time; I just know that I need to change my attitude toward food, but it really is so much harder when your spouse doesn't support that at all.  He said he'd join weight watchers too, but so far, he's waffled in that too.  Sucks because we both did so whll when we were both trying hard, and supporting and challenging each other.

Day 34

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten: 57
Cups of water: 12
Cigarettes smoked: 4
Exercise: 1 hour on the elliptical
Points remaining: 0

Thoughts for today:
Overate again today, although after I did, I made myself get up and exercise for an hour.  I talked with J about the sabotage, which by the way, he did again tonight.  For a person who has a problem with overeating, especially when there's too much food, I really wish he wouldn't just act like it's no big deal, this eating bad.  Ugh, I wish it would click with him!!!

Day 33

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten: 54
Cups of water: 12
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: none today
Points remaining: 0

Thoughts for today:
Went over again, though not too badly, and I still have 8 weekly extra points left.  With two days to go for this week, I should be able to finish out the week without using over my extra point limit for the week. YAY!

Tomorrow and Friday are going to be weird days because I'm not going to work and instead going to a beginner Excel class tomorrow and an expert Excel class on Friday.  I'm not really looking forward to them, mostly because I don't really like taking classes. LOL, and I'm pretty good with Excel anyways, if there had been a medium level class, I would've taken that one.

On to tomorrow!

Day 32

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten: 53
Cups of water: 12
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: 1 hour on the elliptical, 8wwp+ earned!
Points remaining: 0

Thoughts for today:
I found Marie Callendar's steamer meals at the store last week, they're healthy, but there were only two different kinds here, not surprising.  The chicken teriyaki was soo delicious, and then today it was pepper steak, which was a little spicier than I like, but still good.  Both are only 7 wwp+!  Awesome!  Anyways, all was going well and then J decided to order pizza and it all went downhill from there.  I know we both lost weight amazingly well when we supported each other, so it's frustrating that he's being so unhelpful!  I'll have to talk with him about it tonight.  I need the help from him of not getting crap delivered for dinner.  But still, I did make the good decision to exercise, and I did still track everything I ate, so a couple of positives there.

Day 31

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten: 71, so way too many.  I thought I did well, but then I found out that the breakfast I ate was waaay less healthy than I thought.  I had made granola bars last weekend, but they didn't harden enough so I've been eating some of that with milk in the morning.  I measured a half cup, but that small amount ended up being more than 17 points!  Never again!
Cups of water: 12
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: 55 minutes on the elliptical- None today
Points remaining: 0

Thoughts for today:
Went way over, not just because of the oats, but I overate tonight big time.  Ugh.  But the good part is that I resisted eating a payday bar that I wanted to, and made sure to drink extra water.  And another positive note; I'm 3 for 4, 75% on plan, which is great for me.  On to tomorrow!

Day 30

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten: 44
Cups of water: 12
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: 55 minutes on the elliptical- 7wwp+
Points remaining: 1

Thoughts for today:
Today, I ate within my points, YAY!  Like I mentioned the other day, I've made healthy decisions today and it's so much easier to keep on making them.  I'm excited to keep on going!

Day twenty-nine

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten: 48
Cups of water: 10
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: 1 hour on the elliptical, which is 8 wwp+ earned
Points remaining: -3

Thoughts for today:First off, weigh-in this morning was 291.2 pounds, which is -2.4!!!!!  Whooo!!!

This morning, I had oatmeal, milk, a banana, and 2 hardboiled eggs for breakfast- 10 points.  That's a good, nutritional, healthy breakfast.  It's a great start.

And I am going to a pinterest party this afternoon, where we each bring a craft to do, and an appetizer all from the pinterest boards.  We're actually doing things that we pinned and want to do, but otherwise, probably never will. :)  I'm making roasted chickpeas, which are healthy, YAY!  One dish in honey-cinnamon.  I'm excited to try it!  I think everyone will like them.  It'll be hard to count the points of whatever other people bring, so I'm going to try to stick to the chickpeas, but for everything else I try, I'll just count one point for every 1 bite.

Craft-wise, I have no idea if what i want to do will work out.  I was going to have some mason jars, cover them in a kind of glue and lightly colored epsom salts.  Then I could change it with the seasons; orange, brown and red candles with same color ribbon around the top in fall; blue, white, red, or green for Christmas time; etc.  I love the idea, I just haven't been able to find what I need in any of the stores in town, hardly surprising considering we, literally, live in the middle of nowhere.  Luckily, I was able to find everything I needed.  The candle holders look really pretty.  I'm happy they turned out so nicely!

Day twenty-eight

WWP+ (weight watchers points plus) eaten: 39
Cups of water: 8
Cigarettes smoked:4
Exercise: None extra
Points remaining: 6!!!

Thoughts for today:I did well today.  I re-joined weight watchers and decided that I was going to make healthy decisions today; I was not going to think about tomorrow or next week, just today.  And making healthy decisions just for today is actually not very hard.  It's all one decision at a time.  Why is it so much easier to make healthy decisions after you've already made a healthy decision?!?  When I make a poor decision, it's easier to make another poor decision, and another one.  Ugh!

I'm going to be tracking points now, instead of calories, so to clear it up, my points target (what to aim for) is 45 points each day.  Besides that, I get 49 points weekly that I can use whenever, where ever I want.  Yesterday, after all the healthy decisions I did, I ate 39 points.  I could have had six more, but I ended up just sticking with what I ate.  I feel in control for a change which is a great feeling!

Day Twenty-seven

Calories eaten: 2250 approximately
Cups of water: 8
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: None extra

Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About 150 calories

Thoughts for today:
I think I've realized I need to learn how to eat properly.  I need to learn how to control my emotions and find ways to divert myself when I feel like eating.  J and I decided we're going to try weight watchers again. (We had to stop before because of money, but we had both lost nearly 31 pounds before then).  I'll be signing up tomorrow, and I'm excited because I know that WW helps you to learn how to eat better, and to control those swings.  Wish me luck!

Day twenty-six

Unfortunately, J thought he had a possible appendix rupture in progress yesterday, so we went to the ER (I met him there at work), where we waited 5 hours before being seen.  After the x-ray, it turns out that all the vomiting and runs he had for the last couple of days, he had the flu, inflamed his intestines to the point of swelling, and causing his body to not be able to move anything in the intestines.  No passing gas, nothing.  And it caused extreme pain in the area that the appendix would be.  Thank goodness, because a medevac trip to Anchorage can cost in excess of $25,000, and insurance would only cover a very small amount of that. :/  We weren't even released until after 1, so in all, it was 9 hours.  Crazy!

Calories eaten: No idea
Cups of water: 12
Cigarettes smoked:4
Exercise: None, only what I got at work

Basic Metabolic Rate:
That's a calorie deficit of:

Thoughts for today:
Ugh, I'm still tired, so none. 

Day Twenty-five

Calories eaten: 2800 approximately
Cups of water: 8
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: None extra. :(

Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About -400 calories

Thoughts for today:
I feel very lame.  I know how this works but I haven't been very good at getting into the swing of things yet.  J is sick, so my schedule feel kind of messed up.  I can do this, just one day at a time!

Day Twenty-four

Calories eaten: 2300
Cups of water: 10
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: None extra. :(

Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About 100 calories

Thoughts for today:
I did ok today, until dinnertime.  But tomorrow's another day.  That's what I have a hard time remembering.  And I only have to make it one day at a time.  If I could just make one day of good decisions, then I would be a success.  Then it would be the next day.  Why am I having such a hard time doing that?

Day Twenty-three

Calories eaten: 2300
Cups of water: 10
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: 1 hour on the elliptical

Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About 1369 calories

Thoughts for today: I didn't do a great job today, eating well, but I did exercise, and there was definitely a calorie deficit, which is at least the start of the right idea.  I wish we had another day this weekend.  It sucks that we have to go back to work tomorrow! :(  But at least dinner is already made!

Day Twenty-two

Calories eaten: 2000 approximately
Cups of water: 9
Cigarettes smoked: 4
Exercise: None intentional, but I did the freezer cooking, so was standing literally all day.  I only sat for lunch, about 30 minutes between 10am and 4:40pm.
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About 400 calories

Thoughts for today:
I did alright today.  I did a bunch of freezer cooking and put 46 dinner servings, 18 breakfast servings and 4 dessert servings in the freezer!  They're all healthy, which will be great!  I won't have to cook every day after work, which I can so appreciate.

My weight this morning was 293.4 pounds, which is a loss from my last weigh-in. YES!

Day Twenty-one

Calories eaten: Not sure
Cups of water: 12
Cigarettes smoked:4
Exercise: Only what I did at work
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About ??? calories

Thoughts for today:

Day twenty

Calories eaten: 3000 approximately
Cups of water: 12
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: Only what I did at work
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About -600 calories

Thoughts for today:
I'm not on target and have definitely been struggling with my self-control.  It sucks!  I weighed myself after we got back home after babysitting and despite not the greatest job of eating/moving, I was down a few tenths of a pound.  I'm in at 293.7, so that's something positive.

I'm working on the plan for the freezer cooking these evenings.  All week, I worked on finding a number of recipes that are freezer friendly.  Tonight, I'm working on making a shopping list of all the things I need.  Tomorrow after work, I'll be going shopping for everything I need and then on Saturday, I'll be doing the cooking.  I'm going to try to get it all done in one day.  Wish me luck!

Oh, and it snowed today! YES!!! Winter is coming; my favorite time of the year!  It makes everything look clean and fresh and so much more pleasant.

Day ninteen

Calories eaten: 2850 approximately
Cups of water: 12
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: Nothing extra. :(  This weekend, I really hope I can get a handle on all this.
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About -450 calories

Thoughts for today:
Crazy day at work today.  This week feels like it's going slower than molasses!

Day eighteen

Calories eaten: 2400 approximately
Cups of water: 12
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: Just unpacking all our stuff.
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About 0 calories

Thoughts for today:
I am so incredibly happy to be done babysitting the beasts!!!  SO HAPPY!

Day Seventeen

Calories eaten: 2400 approximately
Cups of water: 12
Cigarettes smoked:4
Exercise: Chased the kids around the house with pillows for awhile.  It was definitely a workout and made my asthma kick up.
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About 0 calories

Thoughts for today:
The kids were tuckered out from said pillow-chasing/fight above, and T fell asleep on his bedroom floor! LOL, it was too cute.  When he's asleep anyways.  Their mom should be back tomorrow, so we should be done once we get them off to school. YAY!

Anyone excited for the Walking Dead in 3 weeks??? I'm stoked! Can't wait for it!

Day sixteen

Calories eaten: 2400 approximately
Cups of water: 10
Cigarettes smoked: 2
Exercise: Laundry...
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About 0 calories

Thoughts for today:
 Only 1 1/2 days more!  YAY!

In preparation for doubling down on eating healthy and appropriate meal sizes, we've ordered a food scale and a couple of healthy freezer cookbooks, to hopefully give me a decent guide in freezer cooking next weekend.  I also ordered a yoga and pilates dvd for plus-sized people to try out. (Spending my birthday money from last month).  Can't wait for it all to come!

Day fifteen

Calories eaten: 2200 approximately
Cups of water: 2
Cigarettes smoked: 2
Exercise:
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About 200 calories

Thoughts for today:
Counting down the days until we're done watching these hellions!  Only2 1/2 more days.  YAY!  And then I'll have my elliptical again, which will be a huge relief.

I've been doing some research on healthy freezer cooking, and have seen a lot of info on it, that shows how beneficial I can be.  Everything would be portion controlled, I would know that the food is healthy and that there's no garbage in it, so much better for J and I, and I wouldn't have to cook when I get home from work, which is a huge reason why we order out too often!  I think next weekend, I'm going to do shopping on Friday after work and then I'll spend several hours on Saturday cooking.  I don't know why I've never thought of this before!!!

Day fourteen

Calories eaten: Note sure.
Cups of water:13
Cigarettes smoked:3
Exercise: Only the walking at work
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About ? calories

Thoughts for today:

Day Thirteen

Calories eaten: Not sure.
Cups of water: 11 
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: Still just walked around at work alot.  It was a crazy day today!
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About ? calories

Thoughts for today:

Day twelve

Calories eaten: 1967 approximately
Cups of water: 8
Cigarettes smoked: 2
Exercise: No official exercise, but walked around the house alot, washed the dog, moved quite a bit. Again. I MISS MY ELLIPTICAL!!!
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About 434 calories

Thoughts for today:

Day Eleven

Calories eaten: 1967 approximately
Cups of water: 8
Cigarettes smoked: 2
Exercise: No official exercise, but walked around the house alot, washed the dog, moved quite a bit. Again. I MISS MY ELLIPTICAL!!!
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About 434 calories

Thoughts for today:
I would be excited for the weekend, except that we still have to watch the kids.  Ugh!

Day Ten

Calories eaten: 2000 approximately
Cups of water: 9
Cigarettes smoked: 2
Exercise: No official exercise, but walked around the house alot, washed the dog, moved quite a bit
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About 400 calories

Thoughts for today:
I'm blogging and saving the drafts until I have time to post the blog.  This baby-sitting thing is a pain in the tush!

Day Nine

Calories eaten: 2000 approximately
Cups of water: 9
Cigarettes smoked:2
Exercise: No official exercise, but walked around the house alot, washed the dog, moved quite a bit
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: About 400 calories

Thoughts for today:
Not too many.  Sucky that I have to go back to work tomorrow, but what can you do?!?  At this point I'm counting down the days until we're done watching these kids.  They've proven to be stubborn, disobedient, and honestly, very frustrating because they don't want to do anything we ask/tell them to do.  The straw was tonight when T did something mean to a much littler kid in the neighborhood and when J and I got him inside (after him running and hiding from us for 30 minutes), he showed no remorse, or shame or anything.  It's really sad that he's like that.  He absolutely should be ashamed and just, nothing. UGH!!!

Day Eight

Calories eaten: Still didn't count, though hopefully not horrible.  It's hard to overeat/binge with a couple of kids around, who want some of whatever you're having! LOL
Cups of water: 8
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: Probably about 1 1/2 miles of walking the dog on a walk your pup day with one of the kiddos, but no idea of how many calories burned.
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: ? calories

Thoughts for today:
It was cold, sprinkling and muddy, but me and T walked, quite a bit.  Then we had chili at the place sponsoring the walk, but mine wasn't very good so I ate less than half of it.  Probably still ate considerably more than I should've, but I did move more than yesterday, so that was ok.

Day Seven

Calories eaten: Not sure, but I'm sure more than I should have.
Cups of water: 10
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: None except walking around ALOT at work
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: ? calories

Thoughts for today:
J and I are babysitting a couple of our co-worker's kids for 11 days at their house, so I don't have access to my elliptical, and it's a little bit harder counting calories, and/or blogging with a couple of slightly (whiny) kids around.   This blog is actually a day late, but I couldn't get on the internet.

Day Six

Calories eaten: 1620
Cups of water:10
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: 1 hour on the elliptical
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: 2039 calories

Thoughts for today:
 Definitely did better. I knew I could do it!  Got home from work and actually made dinner with J.  And I did  exercise!  Woot!

Day Five

Calories eaten: Way too many.  I can't believe how many.
Cups of water:12
Cigarettes smoked:3
Exercise: None today.
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of:  None, I'm sure.

Thoughts for today:
I admit, I'm a terribly emotional eater.  I really have a hard time controlling myself as well, and I swear, I really am a binge eater.  I wasn't even hungry for everything I ate after dinner tonight.  I knew we shouldn't have bought the oreos.  I was just kind of craving it, I guess.  Sigh, well, that's the point of this journey, isn't it?  Learning about myself, learning to be a better person, I knew it wasn't going to be easy.  I can so do this!

Day four

Calories eaten: 2346
Cups of water: 8
Cigarettes smoked: 2
Exercise: 60 minutes on the elliptical= 1269 calories burned
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of:  1323 calories burned

Thoughts for today:
Ugh, J ruined it again! LOL, he was stuck on the idea of pizza because the pizza place was closed yesterday.  So we had pizza.  Darn it!  It's really hard to resist pizza.  Tomorrow, whole wheat pasta spaghetti.  Period.

Day three

Calories eaten: 2522
Cups of water: 8
Cigarettes smoked: 2
Exercise: 60 minutes on the elliptical= 1269 calories burned
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of:  1147calories burned

Thoughts for today:
I was going to do great today, but J ended up working late and since I had to wait for him, we stopped at Subway on the way home.  I always end up going overboard at subway, even though the food can be healthy.  Tomorrow night, whole wheat spaghetti and green beans!

Day Two

Calories eaten: 2000
Cups of water: 12
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: 60 minutes on the elliptical= 1269 calories burned
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of: 1669 calories burned
Thoughts for today:

Not half bad actually.  Still ate more than I had intended, but I'm getting a little bit better at telling myself no to excessive chocolate and things like that. If I only had one each day, it would only be 70 extra calories.  That's definitely not unbearable.

I watched the movie Lying to be Perfect with Poppy Montgomery today, and I kind of found it to be motivational in getting in shape and losing weight.  It's a cute movie.

Day One

I started losing weight as of January 2012, when I realized I had reached a total of 322 pounds.  I couldn't believe I had let myself get so overweight!  My hubs and I both started losing weight and as of August, were down a little over 25 pounds!  We went on vacation and I gained about 5 pounds, but I'm back down now.

I plan to weigh myself weekly, to exercise daily, to eat a healthy diet, to curb my emotional eating habits, to drink more water, to smoke less cigarettes,

ALL

to be able to shop in normal stores,
to wear a bikini someday,
to not feel as if family or friends are judging what I'm eating,
to get my belly button pierced,
to get a tattoo on skin I know won't be saggy or funny looking,
to be able to have sex against a wall with J,
to feel sexy in bed or in lingerie,
to be comfortable in an airplane seat,
to not have to wear a seatbelt extender,
to KNOW that I'm attractive to J,
TO FEEL ATTRACTIVE TO ME!!!

Every day, I'm going to fill out a template to use this blog as my journal, that I'll update throughout the day.
Calories eaten: 2651 (WAY too many!)
Cups of water: 13
Cigarettes smoked: 3
Exercise: 1269 calories burned on the elliptical; help make up for overeating.  I'll do better tomorrow!
Basic Metabolic Rate: Approximately 2400 calories
That's a calorie deficit of:  1018 calories burned
Thoughts for today:
       I'm so excited that I'm starting this blog.  I've been slacking for awhile lately and my weight's just been hovering and I'm tired of it.   It'll be great seeing the progress I know I'll be making, and even better having this blog to motivate me.